At Christmas time the average person will consume ten times their own body weight in nuts,tangerines,dates and chocolate.
The average family will produce 47 tonnes of waste, empty bottles, nutshells, wrapping paper..which if they don't tip their bin-men will eventually spill into their neighbours back yard.
The largest Christmas Turkey ever recorded, was a 46 stone monster, over 10 feet tall, served up at the Lord Mayor's Christmas Dinner at Arbroath Town Hall in 1926.
When the oven door was opened after 16 hours cooking, to put the potatoes in, the giant beast came alive, leapt out of the oven and killed two kitchen staff. The badly scorched bird was eventually wrestled back into the roasting tin by members of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards Pipe Band, who had been playing nearby. The bird took six weeks to cook, and to this day cold Turkey sandwiches carved from the beasts huge carcass are served every lunchtime in the Lord Mayors Chamber.
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
BALLS
shiney balls have toppled tinsel from the top of the Christmas tree.
A report out sometime today shows that balls are now Britain's most popular Christmas tree decoration, with former favourite tinsel tumbling to tenth in the popularity charts.
Sales of Tinsel have plummeted as ecology conscious tree owners look for environmentally friendly alternatives to the plastic based strings of glittering foil.
This Christmas, British trees will boast an average of 23 shiney balls each, with less than a metre of tinsel adorning the branches. Compared with the 1973 figure of 12 shiney balls and 6 metres of tinsel.
Glasgow, once named the 'Tinsel town of the North' due to the number of Tinsel factories concentrated in the area, now has an unemployment rate of 98%. Two hundred workers at the one remaining tinsel factory were sent home, as orders for tinsel ran out.
A report out sometime today shows that balls are now Britain's most popular Christmas tree decoration, with former favourite tinsel tumbling to tenth in the popularity charts.
Sales of Tinsel have plummeted as ecology conscious tree owners look for environmentally friendly alternatives to the plastic based strings of glittering foil.
This Christmas, British trees will boast an average of 23 shiney balls each, with less than a metre of tinsel adorning the branches. Compared with the 1973 figure of 12 shiney balls and 6 metres of tinsel.
Glasgow, once named the 'Tinsel town of the North' due to the number of Tinsel factories concentrated in the area, now has an unemployment rate of 98%. Two hundred workers at the one remaining tinsel factory were sent home, as orders for tinsel ran out.
Monday, 2 November 2009
Rubber Pensioner Perishes
Agnes Moffatt, Britain's firs rubber pensioner, has died at the age of 83.
Agnes shot to fame in the mid 90's whe she became the first and only person in the Country to undergo Vulcanisation.
In a revolutionary new surgical procedure her skin was removed and replaced by a latex rubber outer shell.
Tragically the surgeons forgot to provide Ages with an arse hole and she has spent the last 15 years slowly inflating to an incredible size.
She exploded peacefully in her sleep in the early hours of Saturday morning..Witnesses commented "You could smell the blast 47 miles away."
Agnes shot to fame in the mid 90's whe she became the first and only person in the Country to undergo Vulcanisation.
In a revolutionary new surgical procedure her skin was removed and replaced by a latex rubber outer shell.
Tragically the surgeons forgot to provide Ages with an arse hole and she has spent the last 15 years slowly inflating to an incredible size.
She exploded peacefully in her sleep in the early hours of Saturday morning..Witnesses commented "You could smell the blast 47 miles away."
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)