shiney balls have toppled tinsel from the top of the Christmas tree.
A report out sometime today shows that balls are now Britain's most popular Christmas tree decoration, with former favourite tinsel tumbling to tenth in the popularity charts.
Sales of Tinsel have plummeted as ecology conscious tree owners look for environmentally friendly alternatives to the plastic based strings of glittering foil.
This Christmas, British trees will boast an average of 23 shiney balls each, with less than a metre of tinsel adorning the branches. Compared with the 1973 figure of 12 shiney balls and 6 metres of tinsel.
Glasgow, once named the 'Tinsel town of the North' due to the number of Tinsel factories concentrated in the area, now has an unemployment rate of 98%. Two hundred workers at the one remaining tinsel factory were sent home, as orders for tinsel ran out.
RIDDLEMANIA
- RIDDLEMAN
- There are specific periods throughout history, where a tilt towards the mundane on the delicately balanced scales of entertainment, alerts a certain type of individual to act on behalf of insanity. The architect of such a mind altering experience, would not only require intellect and wit of a level dangerous to mortal men, but damn good looks and a fine dress sense to boot. A figurehead, a spokesman for the inspiration starved imaginations of the World, a charismatic Orator, but above all a humble man, without vanity. Enter stage left Riddleman... 'But then begins a journey in my head, to work my mind, when body's work expired. For then my thoughts from where I abide, intend a zealous pilgrimage' So, looking on darkness which only the blind do see...let the mundane become hilarity.
AMAZING..BUT SHITE!
Words infest my soul like the memories of decaying Stars. My words are the skin of thought, if you are in any doubt about the content of my dermis...its all amazing but quite, quite shite!
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