HOW AMERICAN ARE YOU?

I say Potato, they say Potato..They call a slapper a Tramp, a Tramp a Bum, a Bum a Fanny, and a Fanny a Puh-Seh..
In 1946ish..US War Hero, John Shirley Wayne, said that Britain and America were two Countries separated by a common language...I think that this may have been true then, but is it still true today?..
With our Star spangled diet of McDonalds food, Coke-on-Rye and the Disney Channel we have become the 51st State of the Union, and with it, Comrade Obama's personal whipping boys..
I for one am getting off my Hoss, drinking my Milk and shouting 'I may be a Dandy Riddle, but I'm No Yankee doodle Dandy Riddle'..

Try my little test and decide Just how American YOU are.

You decide your relationship with your Partner is over, How would you break the News?..
1. Leave a tearful note on the Kitchen table and slip away into the night?
2. Sit down with your partner and calmly discuss the reasons for your decision?
3. Attack him/her with a Chair in front of a rabble of jeering, pumped up trailer trash vermins, on National Television?

You are Visiting Egypt, and are concerned over the recent Terrorist Attacks on Foreign Nationals..What do you wear to remain Inconspicuous?
1. A tee-shirt and a Pair of Jeans?
2. A Demis Rousoss tent Dress, fez, a false beard and Sun-glasses.?
3. A high rise Baseball cap, trainers with knee length socks, a horrendous flowery shirt, 1932 Football Association shorts and 8 cameras around your neck?

Where are you most likely to find your local bobby?
1. Outside his little Police house in the Village mending a puncture on his bicycle?
2. Asleep in his Patrol car on a Motorway Flyover?
3. On his Yacht, wearing a Pastel suit with the sleeves rolled up chewing on a fat cigar, feeding his pet Crocodile?

You are Driving along a Country road one day when you accidentally run over a baby rabbit. What do you do?
1. Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it's still alive?
2. Carry on driving, but hope that it is still alive, or if not that it died quickly.?
3. Strap it across the bonnet of your Mondeo and drive home hollering and whooping at the top of your voice, throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window?

Mostly answer No 1?...You are in no way Americanised..You probably still spell colour with the 'u' and call your trousers 'Trousers'...Well done!

Mostly answer No 2?...Hmmm!..Your halfway there ... Why not put a little white fence around your Garden and ask the postman to put your letters in a bread bin on a stick!

Mostly answer No 3?...Well Sassafras-on-Rye.. You were born on the Fourth of July and you've got Mom's apple pie and Napalm coming out of the Buns of your Ass...Take the Fifth and have a nice Fuc#ing day Buddy!