NO XXX PLEASE ...WE'RE BRITISH

The Government recently announced plans to crack down on extreme pornography. It sounds a simple enough task a first glance, but as usual the legislation could prove to be a minefield of Hot Potatoes. I ask myself, What is the definition of extreme pornography? Erotic images that would make Anne Widdecombe vomit buckets may fail to even provoke the preverbial twitch in Peter Stringfellow's pants. And, assuming we could ever come to an agreement about what is in fact pornography, how would we go about banning it?...

I went on to the Street to find out what the Public think.

"Its all well and good that the Government wants to ban images of Bestiality, but where will it all end? Will they arrest the curator of the National Gallery for displaying Leonardo Da Vinci's painting of the Ancient Greek legend of Leda, in which a nude Woman is seduced by a Swan? Probably not, come to think of it, because you can't see it going in."
Fred Turpentine, Art Dealer.

"I buy a lot of erotic mags and DVD's, so I reckon I've got a pretty good idea of what constitutes extreme porn....Generally speaking, it's anything over about £20.00."
Sid, Van Driver.

"All forms of pornography turns my stomach, but extreme porn does so even more. Any pervert caught looking at this type of material should be dragged into the Town Square, stripped naked and tied to a post. Then members of the general public should be allowed to whip them until their Buttocks and Genitals are a mass of bleeding scars. Their punishment should be videoed and shown in Schools, where their weeping welts would serve as a stern warning to Children of the dangers of looking at such material."
Sally Dailymail, Housewife.

"My Husband used to like me to dress up in sexy underwear like the models in the glossy magazines, which he used to buy each Month. I didn't mind that, but recently he has started traveling to Amsterdam and buying more extreme pornography.These days I often find myself having to dress up as a Pig, a Great Dane or even an Oven Ready Chicken".
Mrs Farthing, Primary School Teacher.

"Surely there's no need to ban it, since one's exposure to this sort of material is self-regulatory. It is an established medical fact that the more extreme the pornography one looks at, the quicker one goes blind or mental".
DR M Bader-Meinhoff,