A BRIDGE TOO FAR

It has been revealed that Michael Jackson was planning on buying a bridge in Scotland, but lawyers blocked the recently deceased King of Pops plans to sit under it and ask "Who goes there."
Jacko, had always wanted to be a Troll, and just weeks before his untimely death, the star had issued his estate agents with a 'Find me a bridge to live under' ultimatum.
Within days they had located the ideal bridge over a disused railway line in Scotland. Pictures of the stone bridge were sent back to Jacko, where he was said to have 'Fell in love' with it at first sight.

However, lawyers were said to have torpedoed the deal by refusing Jackson the right to stop Billy goats as they crossed the bridge in order to ask them "Who goes there?"
Wallace McSpoons of leading Edinburgh law firm McSpoons, Crawford and Oatcake explained that a covenant on the bridge dating back over a hundred years allows Farmers unhindered access to an adjoining field.

"Even though the bridge had been out of use for several years, a legal right of way remained, and any purchaser would have to comply with that should the owner of the adjoining field wish to cross the bridge at sometime in the future."

A spokesman for Jacksons legal team is said to have denied the singer had any intention of stopping people from using the bridge.
"Its ludicrous, Trolls do not stop people from crossing a bridge. They merely enquire 'who goes there?' Its a traditional thing, and as the owner of the bridge, Michael should have been able to do that."

Mr McSpoons said the owners legal requirements were quite clear, and that behaving like a Troll would have constituted a breach of contract.
"If a new owner were to sit beneath the bridge and ask people "Who goes there," that enquiry would have in itself constituted a form of hindrance, regardless of whether or not Mr Jackson subsequently had allowed them to cross."

Following the legal wrangling, Mr Jackson is said to have lost interest in bridges, and had turned his attention to mainland Europe, where it was rumoured he was looking at Windmills in Old Amsterdam, where he had hoped to bring up his Children in a 'Windmill environment,' dressed as mice wearing clogs!