INCREDIBLE BUT TRUE

A 500lb Woman from Illinois was examined in Hospital. During the examination, an Asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under on of her breasts, and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva!

A drunk staggered in to a hospital in Pennsylvania, complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said they would come out half way, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally a doctor examined him and discovered that the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea!

A World war 2 veteran came into a London Clinic with a haemorrhoid problem. One painful pile would often hang down from the poor mans anus, and he was in the habit of pushing it back up with an old artillery shell. On this occasion the shell had got stuck. Doctors were going to remove it but the man told them the shell was still live. So the hospital called in the army bomb disposal squad, who built a lead box around the mans anus to diffuse the shell before it could be removed.

A 20 year old man came into casualty with a stoney mass in his rectum.
He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with a concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the concrete mix into his anus using a funnel. The concrete mix had then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anaesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the mans rectum was removed, along with a stray ping pong ball!